Missing my First Mother’s Day

| theperfectwildbalance

I’ll never forget it. Mother’s Day 2016. My first Mother’s Day ever. I was in hot dusty Fort Hunter Liggett, California. Out in the middle of nowhere. I was on my annual two week training for the military, and to be honest I was upset that day. You would think “why be upset on Mother’s Day?” I was a new mother, and I had to leave my 6 almost 7 month old son behind on the east coast. I know it’s expected to happen throughout my military career, but when the time comes to leave, its hard. The reception was terrible, and I couldn’t Face Time him just to see his face, which mad me even more mad. I was ready for the two weeks to be completed just so I could hold and see my baby again. As the day went on, any and everyone made me upset, and I took my anger out on them, which I shouldn’t have, but I honestly couldn’t help it. Even the “happy first Mother’s Day” texts wouldn’t suffice and make me happy.

As we were taking a break from training that day, we were called out of your tent to have an informal meeting. My First Sergeant called me to the center and presented me with a Mother’s Day card signed from my entire unit, a box of Ferraro Rocher chocolate, and a bouquet of flowers stuck in a Starbucks cup filled with water. I burst into tears. I couldn’t believe that everyone made such a horrible day turn into something so memorable, and how they put in the thought and effort to make my first Mother’s Day special. I was surprised that they had gotten the gifts because the nearest store was 45 minutes away.

I love how I have the support of my family while in the military, and having the support of my unit. It’s hard being a parent and having to leave your children behind to serve our country, but I make the best of it. The most amazing part is I have my children to look forward to when I come home!
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS

You’re a grand old glad, you’re a high flying flag!
9 Years Army Strong

Children Need Self Care Too

| theperfectwildbalance

Everyone has bad days, even children. I’ve never took into consideration that my child can have a “bad” day. It’s not like they have real stress in life, but anything can happen. A bad day at school, day care or even at home. As parents we’re typically exhausted and want to pamper or treat ourselves, but let’s think about our children. Yes, they have fun, but do they get that pamper treatment? Eh…maybe, maybe not, but most of the time “no”. I do my best everyday to ask my children, especially my three year old since he can hold a conversation “How was his day?” “How’s he doing?” “What did he do today?” I want to be engaged with my children and know what causes their emotions as to why they are happy, sad etc.

I’m guilty of sometimes not having enough quality time set aside to spend with my children, typically days after work. I made it a priority and a vow to myself and my children that no matter how tired mommy is we’re going to spend time together doing something that makes them feel good. You may think to yourself “what self care ideas come into play with children?” Here’s some ideas I thought I would do with my children that are simple

  1. Just Play
  2. Cuddle up and watch a movie
  3. Take Silly Pictures
  4. Draw/Color together
  5. Go for a bike ride or walk
  6. Blow Bubbles (What child doesn’t love bubbles)
  7. Go out for Ice cream

One activity I did with my son (while my daughter was napping) was practice writing his name and words in shaving cream. Yes it got a little messy, but it was AWESOME and we enjoyed it. I’m not sure who had more fun, him or I. Not only was he learning, but we were having fun.

Writing the word “CAT”
And the mess begins

What are some other suggestions of self care ideas that come to mind with children or some that you may have done yourself as a family?

Coping with a busy schedule & children

| theperfectwildbalance

I seriously don’t think there are 24 hours in a day. With a full time job and 2 children in daycare; I think there’s only about 5 hours; because that’s what it feels like. Personally, there’s not time to get anything done after working from 8-5 and with the kids in daycare all day. Finding time to cook, bathe the kids, spend time with them, prepare for the next day, and get everyone to bed at a decent time— to do it all over again is HARD WORK!

Multi-tasking Working Mom

In order to fit everything into my routine and somewhat keep my sanity, I’ve practiced these time management tips as a busy parent:

  1. Knowing your order or importance:: ask yourself what it your priority and what is most important to you. I know for sure my children are, so they’ll come before anything or anybody. Order your obligations as to what’s important.
  2. Limit your kids to activities: with having your children in too many activities it not only becomes overwhelming for you, but for your children as well. Unfortunately after basketball season ended for my son I did not put him in any more activities because practice and games are time consuming. It throws our routine out of whack.
  3. Try to keep your house organized:: we all know this is a hard task, but when your home is neat and organized you feel like your mind isn’t as discombobulated. Teach your kids to put things where they belong. It’ll become a lifesaver.
  4. ROUTINE!:: having a routine is one of the best and effective systems to have within a household. Kids are able to adapt to a routine and stay with it when they are on a consistent schedule.
  5. Have calendars and to do list:: having a list handy and accessible of things that need to be done makes life more simple. At least you know you’re not forgetting any important tasks, dates, or appointments. Be sure to check out my Etsy shop for planners/ trackers/checklists SimplifiedLifeDesign

Toddler Interview: 19 Questions

| theperfectwildbalance

I decided to interview my 3 year old and ask him some random questions. Thought it’ll be fun to hear his responses to what he was asked. Here’s the list I asked Klay:

1.What is your name? Klay K-L-A-Y

2. How old are you? I’m 3 mommy

3. What’s your favorite color? Um my favorite color……red

4. What’s your favorite food? Um Um milk and cereal

5. Who is your best friend? Kenny

6. What is your favorite show? Dinosaurs Race

7. What is your favorite toy? Cars, cars are my favorite

8. How old is mommy? I can’t, how old are you?

9. How old is daddy? Um I don’t know, old

10. How old is sissy? One

11. Where do you live? Um at the zoo

12. What makes you cry? Milk makes me cry

13. What makes you happy? Kenny makes me happy and I happy

14. What is your favorite song? ABCs

15. What is your favorite animal? Um a lion

16. Where is your favorite place to go? To the zoo

17. What did you do today? I just learn at school

18. What do you want to be when you get older? Bigger

19. What number do you call in case of an emergency? 9-1-1

Not enough quality time with the kids?? đź¤”

| theperfectwildbalance
Spending quality time with your children is always the right decision.

From work to daycare to home, I’m going nonstop as soon as I pull in the garage. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have enough time between getting home and bedtime to spend time with the kids. I honestly spend more time at work than I do with my kids, so every moment is precious. I don’t touch my phone because I want to spend the missed time with my children; wanting to know what they did in school, etc. Ways a single parent or any parent for that matter who works to spend quality time with children…simply don’t pick up your phone. Show them every ounce of attention. When bath time rolls around, chat to them. When dinner time rolls around, sit down and eat with them (no distractions), have a little playtime before bed, or read a book.I personally like to do learning time. It prepares my children for school, but I also make it fun. Yes there are times when I want to come home and relax, let the kids do their own thing as far as entertaining themselves, but all in all they need your attention, and we MUST give it to them.

What do you do to spend quality time with your kids as a working parent?

Associating/Dating While Being A Single Mom

| theperfectwildbalance

Getting back into the dating scene or associating with someone can sometimes be scary, at least for me it is. Being a single mom of two and constantly on the go, tending to work, and my children, the last thing I think about is associating or dating a guy. To have to get to know someone or starting from scratch is nerve-wrecking! But the main thing is accepting my children. If you don’t accept the fact that I have children, we can’t date! Its as simple as that. My children are and will always be a part of who I am. I recently began associating with someone, and beforehand I let it be known that I have two children. I told him, before moving forward does he mind, because if not, we’re done before it even started. Every mother or parent in general is protective over their kid(s) especially when bringing someone new into their life. I’m not going to jump into anything or even introduce my children any time soon, because I must feel out who they are and become comfortable with them. Here are a few tips that I used when starting to date again as a single mom:

  1. Talk on the phone: Getting to know someone over the phone is a good start instead of immediately going out. Sometimes you can get a person’s vibe over the phone on whether you want to meet them in person or not.
  2. Trust your instinct: If something feels off during conversation, or during the meet ups/dates, cancel it or end it right away. In any situation where someone makes you feel uncomfortable and there are red flags, end all communications with them.
  3. Wait to introduce the kids: When kids become engaged with a person and a bond is formed, then the bond is unexpectedly broken, it becomes heart-wrenching for the kids. Personally, when the relationship between you and your potentially new partner becomes serious or when you feel most comfortable, introduce your kids.

All in all, it is best to ease into talking to someone and starting over. Don’t jump into anything so quickly; take your time. It’ll be best for you and the kids.

Dating a woman with kids doesn’t mean you will be playing daddy…It just means you’ll be becoming apart of a family and a role model for a child. If you aren’t ready to step up, then simply don’t step to her…

Evicting my kids…out of my room

| theperfectwildbalance

Okay, this may sound a little insane, but I just recently evicted my three year and one year old… out of my room. We moved into our home almost a year ago. I wasn’t quite ready for them to be in their rooms yet because being a single parent and only adult in the house, I was still getting use to the home and everyone adjusted. Though we have security and other features in the home to help us feel protected, I still wanted them close to me. I have my bed in my room, my daughters’ crib, and my son’s toddler bed. Yes all three beds! This was only supposed to temporary. Not for a year!!! I decked my daughters’ room out with a unicorn theme, and my son’s room with a superhero theme. Surprisingly, they stay in their rooms the entire night. I can now have a “mommy/grown-up” room to myself. To keep a peace of mind throughout the nights and while they are playing, I purchased the LBtech Video Baby Monitor from Amazon. This baby monitor has two cameras which works perfectly. It has night vision, and a two way talk back. Not only can I hear and see my kids from down the hall and get a great night’s sleep, I get a peace of mind knowing there’s extra security for my children.

Check out the link where I purchased the LBtech Video Baby Monitor: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07M7MQPXM/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B07M7MQPXM&linkCode=as2&tag=pwb09d-20&linkId=2ad1a5cb4f7f3b84ad32c2b7fef8600e

Coping with emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion

| theperfectwildbalance

Good golly does it get exhausting caring for two young kids, a three year old boy and ten month baby girl, all on your own. I wouldn’t trade it for the world though, I’ll tell you that!

After I had my daughter I went through post-partum depression. Never experienced it with my son, so it was completely new to me. Luckily, I had family in town to help when I needed them the most. Not to mention, during my post-partum depression I was in the process of building/closing on my home. Packing up an apartment, finishing the last few weeks of grad school, caring for a new born, and still trying to show my son much needed attention. It became hard! Things were starting to get rough, and this was just the beginning.

I currently have no family in the town that I’m living in, the nearest family is two hours away (including the kids father). Once I moved into my new home, got off maternity leave and went back to work, things got REAL, and I became stressed. Being the first to wake up, and the last to go to sleep it was like clockwork. Making sure children are taken care of are my top priority, I literally felt like a robot doing the same thing, day in and day out. “What was wrong with me?”

As we know having kids in daycare and school, they are constantly getting sick. This past year only my kids have had the stomach bug, the flu (at the same time), my daughter having RSV THREE times, with the third time being hospitalized. The doctors office became our second home. With my kids being sick and my attenion being focused on them, of course I didn’t take the necessary time to have that “me-time”. When you’re doing it all on your own and your little ones depend on you for everything, and you get zero breaks it starts to wear on your. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I started to see myself becoming more irritable, and impatient, but not towards my children. I just wanted a break, “me-time”, quite time, etc. but I never got that.

I was tired of being strong, and people always asking “How do you do it?”. I didn’t want to be superwoman anymore, I wanted to give up, not once but MULTIPLE TIMES! But my kids depended on me and I had to keep going. I depend on my kids to keep me going . I had to figure out how I was going to get my quiet time, “me-time” in. Days where I get off early from work, and before I get the kids I take time for myself. I go shopping, get a mani/pedi, come home for a while, etc.

I strongly believe I’m one tough mama, and nothing can break me. I thank God for the support of my family and friends from afar, as well as my co-workers who offer to lend a helping hand. Though I had a routine in place, things got hard and still are, but taking time for yourself is important because physical, mental and emotional exhaustion can be dangerous. Keep it up mamas, you got this! ❤

#SUPERWOMAN